My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize