The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize