Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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