no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
