i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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