After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
and she was petting her beer can
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
