We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
