8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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