I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
