Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
