Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
