I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
