I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
