The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize