Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
