We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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