Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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