Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
