1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
