can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
