why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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