bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
