How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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