O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
