Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize