So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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