Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
