YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
