Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
