Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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