are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
