Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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