did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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