her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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