Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
