Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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