are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
