walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
