Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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