i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's blow job season.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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