you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
