so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
