What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
