I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
