Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
