I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
They took my balls.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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