Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
