Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize