i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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