i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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