well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
