I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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