ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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