I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
