I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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