so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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