There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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