That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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