went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
