No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
