Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize