who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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