if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
