Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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