What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
