chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You are the jesus of drinking
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
