Yo dont text me then not text me
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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