I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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