she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize