dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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