ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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