3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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