Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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