I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize