Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
