if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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